No Second Dates

The secret to not letting anyone know what I do for a living is the black nail polish. There is nothing worse than trying to explain the dried blood that is permanently embedded in my fingernails. No, I am not a nurse. No, I am not an EMT. Yes, I kill vampires for a living. Somehow, that just doesn’t carry the necessary clout during a dinner conversation. I don’t have many second dates because, quite frankly, I don’t think I owe anyone who judges me for what I do a second date. Really? You don’t sleep better knowing that I am out there, ridding the world of evil? What kind of pussy are you? You can’t have it both ways. You either accept me for the vampire staking bitch that I am or you can go fuck yourself. If that is too honest, I have nothing for you.

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